empty thoughts of a tired mind

everything seems so wrong..

so wrong..

wrong..

i wonder if i did it right..

cos if it was right, then i should feel better..

but i'm not..

p/s: 3 minggu berlalu, namun minda ini masih tepu..

keputusan, keputusan, keputusan..

benar atau songsang..

hidup aku teruskan..

what a wonderful (cruel) world

rain started to fall, drizzling lightly, crying..the drama still going for nearly an hour as i stubbed out my second cigarette..Jie offered another but i decline..i cant put more stress in my lung in this suffocating environment..

it is surprising to know that these days, a young child is left to fend off for themselves in such an early age..to face this beautiful yet cruel world with all the challenge and stuff..to survive by their own effort, without any help from the family that already struggling..to taste the sweet and bitter taste of life without any guidance..trying on the verge of giving up to find love and pursuit happyness..fall again and again yet still standing up on their own two feet..

tons of respect to this survivor..

i stood up and find a spot under the shade of some tree, escaping the sun who have spilled it rays from the gloomy clouds..and i took another cigarette, light it up and blows the essece of tobacco pleasurely as the drama folds into conclusion..the land are dry once again..

and the tears keep falling..

spot on

a friend post this on her facebook (yup, girls do watch football)..

reading all these dickless MAN U fans showcasing their winning speech prove that they got nothing to be proud of other than that. not even their 2" headless private member. grow up u asses its not like u won by big point , it was a close call so...stop being so arrogant and obnoxious because it wont be until next year that u guys gonna be down on the circle again. selamat hari raya suma!

well, i do agree with her but its still not too late to bermaaf-maafan kan?

right on..still on the topic of Aidilfitri..met an old friend after prayer this morning and somehow we both felt like this time, we've kinda lost the spirit to celebrate like we used to be..particularly when both our grandparents have gone, and we basically have no kampung..

being born and raised in the vicinity of Klang valley, the balik kampung spirits were high everytime my family go back to see my grandparents, either back in JB or Rembau..the excitement was phenomenon, the travel, the sight of uncles, cousins, the scene where all the bodies scattered throughout the house, sleeping..and now, i wonder if i can get the same feeling?

celebrating Aidilfitri in this humble house that i've always return each time the sun sets..and nearly all my cousins are living nearby, more or less can be visited in a span of one day (sometime just gave a call and meet somewhere)..hence its gone, the feeling, the excitement..no more like what they show on tV, coming back from the city to their hometown, wooden stilt house, with sawah saujana mata memandang as their backyard..

nope..just that empty feeling of not having nowhere to go..

but that the end of it..just the feeling on that moment when i know that from now on i'll be spending Aidilfitri here in Bangi..

and then, i realize that its still much the same, only a little bit of different that did not make any different at all..

Selamat Hari Raya..

Raya

tahun ini sambutan berkonsepkan minimalis..



Selamat Hari Raya Aidilifitri

Maaf Atas Segala Khilaf Diri

Yang Mungkin Buat Terasa Hati

ok dah..

lambat sedikit

singgah pasaraya J dengan homies, cari rokok..

"dah 16 September, tak dak pa jadi pun"

"mana ada pa bak, tak meriah, langsung orang tak kisah", tambah aku sambil tengok tajuk besar Suara Keadilan (Keldaian kata homies tadi)..

Jie pandang aku, selamba, "tunggu kerajaan tukaq baru ada sambutan..tak tukaq, takdak laa.."

heh...

Selamat Hari Malaysia

ini pengisi sahaja

no more midas touch as i lay my finger on the keyboard
dah tak mampu menari dengan lancar..
tersekat..
terlalu banyak... damn, again i'm lost..can't think the words to put..

*sigh~* 

its hard to write when there's hesitation to put the thoughts into words..
bukannya aku tiada apa yang nak ditulis, cuma hilang kata-kata..

dan kata-kata selalunya ada bila minda ini dibiar berlegar, dan jasad...hilang lagi kata-kata..
apekah!? minda melayang, jiwa tak keruan?
mungkin ada sesuatu yang difikirkan?

*sigh~*

carpe diem..seize the moment..apa itu mungkin penyebab (atau alasan semata) untuk keadaan ini..the moment is now..put aside what had and will happen, now is what matter the most..

itu sahabat aku yang kata, buka dipetik dari mana-mana, atau aku yang kata..
dan sekarang dalam fikiran aku adalah ujian demi ujian, analisis dan penulisan tesis..

tulis..tulis lagi..lebih kepada perkara teknikal, tapi ianya tetap penulisan..dan penulisan yang akan menentukan samada layak atau tidak aku bergraduasi..

menulis untuk membolehkan aku bergraduasi, tapi bila menulis aku hilang kata-kata untuk menulis..
tak menulis akan timbul idea yang banyak, tapi tak akan bergraduasi kerana akan kehilangan kata-kata bila menulis..

tangkap-22!

punca kuasa dua 2

hidup dan nasib, roler koster..ada masa naik, ada masa turun..kecut tak kecut, terasa jasad meluru meninggalkan nyawa..

ah, tapi itulah kehidupan..

things are coming back into its place, hampir kembali seperti sediakala sedikit demi sedikit..
lebih kuranglah..

dan kembali menjadi pendengar kisah-kisah yang tak berakhir..barangkali mampu dikompilasikan menjadi hikayat yang tiada penghujungnya? barangkali..

tapi itu cerita lain..

apapun sebelum pasir ajaib ditaburkan kemata lalu menghamparkan jalan ke dunia mimpi, sukalah sekiranya aku berkongsi petikan di bawah..

petikan satu

Indonesian hackers replaced Malaysia Today's site with a pirate's map pointing to someone's whereabouts.

When the site was restored hours later, commentators there posted some 5000 comments arguing about the race and religion of the skull shown onthe pirate's map

.petikan dua

"Dude, jom belah wei. Aku dah mengantuk tahap Pak Lah dah ni."

and with that bombshell I end this post..